Because we don’t speak about sex, there is no socially acceptable language surrounding it. So the language of porn has jumped in to fill that space, and that’s an issue, because in a male-dominated industry the language of porn is all too often male-generated. The person who coined the term “finger blasting” didn’t have a vagina. The person who coined the term, “getting your ass railed” never got their ass railed. Pounding, hammering, banging… And language matters, because when the only language you have available is abusive and one-directional, in terms of having things done to you, it creates a very weird view of how sex works.
Look at Fifty Shades Of Grey's knot.
Now look at my knot.
Now back at FSoG. Now back at me.
This is the knot your knot could look like if you bothered to ask actual BDSM players, or hell, even their YouTube channels, before making a movie supposedly about BDSM. I’m not a rope top and I did that one-handed.
I’m on a horse.
The thing where they justify abuse by saying “it’s BDSM, of course it’s sick and wrong” is still a bigger problem though.
These are forms of male aggression that only women see. But even when men are afforded a front seat to harassment, they don’t always have the correct vantage point for recognizing the subtlety of its operation. Four years before the murders, I was sitting in a bar in Washington, D.C. with a male friend. Another young woman was alone at the bar when an older man scooted next to her. He was aggressive, wasted, and sitting too close, but she smiled curtly at his ramblings and laughed softly at his jokes as she patiently downed her drink. ‘Why is she humoring him?’ my friend asked me. ‘You would never do that.’ I was too embarrassed to say: ‘Because he looks scary’ and ‘I do it all the time.’
Women who have experienced this can recognize that placating these men is a rational choice, a form of self-defense to protect against setting off an aggressor. But to male bystanders, it often looks like a warm welcome, and that helps to shift blame in the public eye from the harasser and onto his target, who’s failed to respond with the type of masculine bravado that men more easily recognize.
oh my god thank you for this.
i was one of the student writers that was sourced in the New York Times about trigger warnings, since I did an op-ed about using them at Rutgers. and I was interviewed about it for BBC/HuffPost/Chronicle of Higher Ed/etc. My interviewers always ask the same ignorant question, “why trigger warnings now?? why start this thing?? they’ve never existed before, so why start this precedent?”
look the fuck around you, they’re LITERALLY everywhere. they’re on imdb. they’re on video games (and very effective too, ESRB and PEGI are extremely informative). they’re at the top left of every TV show with things like “mature language” or “violence” abbreviated below the recommended age.
even before ESRB, video games like Wolfenstein 3D had them for graphic violence. and even before tumblr, listservs and usernet forums use to use them all the time from every subject under the sun (sports listservs used them just as much as feminist listservs, if not more-so). even today, you can find things like “NSFW” and “NSFL” on reddit.
people have been embracing trigger warnings for years, they just don’t call them trigger warnings. stop acting like trigger warnings are an abomination that don’t work in real life. not just do they work very well, but chances are you’ve used them since you were a kid, and still use them today to look at what content is in the shows you wanna watch and the video games you wanna play.
Looking forward to the film adaptation of “Two Shades of Grey” starring Chris Barrie as Arnold Rimmer and Arnold Rimmer.
A disappointing day in fandom was instantly lifted by listening to English podcasters joking about “Lister sleeping on Rimmer’s morning wood.”
Thanks, guys. I owe you one.
I’ll have to get round to listening to that. :)
Later on there is unrelated talk of “well done, the gays!” “We support the gays!” And one gasping utterance of “slash?!”
What is this and where can I obtain it?!
presumably it’s the introcast since i’m well behind on the recent episodes but i look forward to hitting this one even more now
Robin Thicke is unapologetic about how rapey ‘Blurred Lines’ is, meanwhile the dude who parodied it issues a public apology for one word.
And that is just one reason why I love Weird Al.It’s great that he’s addressed this but are we really supposed to believe that NO ONE during the extremely lengthy processes of writing a song, recording it, mastering it and animating the music video wouldn’t have brought it up?
Excuse me but how the hell is spastic even remotely insulting?
So I just recently learned that in the UK calling someone spastic means the same thing as calling someone retarded, only much worse.
If it makes people in the UK feel any better, people in the US literally do not know this (like literally no one I have ever met and/or know). Here being spastic is usually meant to mean something along the lines of acting like a hyper-active child (like running around in circles yelling just because they feel like it please be quiet for just 2 minutes type of child). NOBODY here uses it as a slur.
Since Weird Al is a US musician and the US music industry is pretty non-international, yeah actually I think its entirely possible that none of the people who worked on this song actually knew that spastic was considered an awful slur in some parts of the world.
And I’m like 99.9999% sure that Weird Al is genuinely very sorry that he was accidentally offensive.
Here we go. This is what I was waiting on to reblog.
Which is what makes it even better that he apologised when he was called out, EVEN THOUGH within his cultural experience, he hadn’t done anything wrong.
also it’s highly likely that the term “spastic” as used in US English derives directly from the slur but has just become distanced from it through linguistic change; some people might argue similarly to excuse themselves for saying “that’s lame!” and suchlike, but the connotations are still there